The Festival City

Tis the month of the Edinburgh Festival and the city has come more than ever to resemble a bloated cambridge (hoards of foreign schoolkids, american fatties and old folks is what I mean). But this time we have those nobs who paint themselves silver and think that the robot dance is a good way to earn money. Well, I for one hope it rains. Yes, I am now a fully fledged member of the grumbling locals society, fed-up because every bus journey takes twice as long, Princes Street is full of wankers and all the pubs have doubled their prices. This last bit is really true, in line with making everyone believe that London prices are normal, Edinburgh takes its turn at charging £8 for a pint of hoegaarden. That'll be me at the back with a bottle of Lambrini then.


To celebrate the coming of the edinburgh festival we have left the city. Although there are loads of fun and interesting things happenning everywhere you go in the town centre, you can't see them because of the toddler sitting on her dads shoulders right in front of you. Anyone would think it was a family day out or something.
So off we went to the Pittenweem Art Festival. Pittenweem is a picturesque little fishing village/town in the kingdom of Fife (10 blogging points to the person who can explain why Fife insists on calling itself a kingdom). It has become home to many jobbing artists who open their houses for one week every year to the general public to exhibit their work. Then they sell maybe two or three pieces and live on the proceeds for the other 51 weeks (Honestly, I'd have done that foundation degree if I'd realised how much those pasta collages would sell for, actually, maybe I could just train as a primary teacher and exploit the wee'uns). Anyway, to move on, it is a lovely place and a grand day out with chips and ice cream and tea rooms, and a chance to have a nose in other peoples houses; always a good day out. For my part I contributed to passing on the 'bloated cambridge' syndrome to this village by having an expensive cream tea and painting myself silver.

Next week we're off to a close-to-the-bone comedian called doug stanhope, if we don't come away seriously offended by at least part of the show I want my money back! Check him out at www.dougstanhope.com and scroll down to the heading "irish women are too ugly to rape". Now who wouldn't pay good money for that?